My Doctor called on Friday to inform me that my estrogen level had reached 6000 and we had to cancel the cycle this month. I was instructed to get off all of my meds and we are to wait until I start my next period. Once I start my period I am to call and schedule an ultrasound to check for cyst again. He had previously mentioned that we might freeze the embryo's but he didn't want to risk the quality of the embryo's due to the high estrogen level. I'm not going to lie this was a little devastating to hear but at the same time I am thankful that I was closely monitored. I do not want something like this to be the reason that my IVF cycle wasn't successful. So I am continuing to keep the faith. As frustrating as this process has been I am finally realizing that nothing is on my timetable. Deep down I already knew this but I haven't made peace with it. God is in control of all things and this is his way of telling me that this month would not have been a successful month. So I am thanking God for finally helping me accept that I am not in control, he is. I have to stay positive. I have been reading Joyce Meyer's book Battlefield of the mind and it has really helped me realize what a toxic mind I had developed. I have been so negative through this process and as hard as it might be I have to start thinking positive. I know in my heart that God will deliver us our miracle. Why in the world am I praying for our baby and to have peace and strength to get through this journey if I am continuing to doubt the direction God is directing our path? Why would God help us if I have this type of attitude and thinking pattern?
With God we will succeed!