Monday, April 21, 2014

IVF #1 Cancelled

My Doctor called on Friday to inform me that my estrogen level had reached 6000 and we had to cancel the cycle this month. I was instructed to get off all of my meds and we are to wait until I start my next period. Once I start my period I am to call and schedule an ultrasound to check for cyst again. He had previously mentioned that we might freeze the embryo's but he didn't want to risk the quality of the embryo's due to the high estrogen level.  I'm not going to lie this was a little devastating to hear but at the same time I am thankful that I was closely monitored. I do not want something like this to be the reason that my IVF cycle wasn't successful. So I am continuing to keep the faith. As frustrating as this process has been I am finally realizing that nothing is on my timetable. Deep down I already knew this but I haven't made peace with it. God is in control of all things and this is his way of telling me that this month would not have been a successful month. So I am thanking God for finally helping me accept that I am not in control, he is. I have to stay positive. I have been reading Joyce Meyer's book Battlefield of the mind and it has really helped me realize what a toxic mind I had developed. I have been so negative through this process and as hard as it might be I have to start thinking positive. I know in my heart that God will deliver us our miracle. Why in the world am I praying for our baby and to have peace and strength to get through this journey if I am continuing to doubt the direction God is directing our path? Why would God help us if I have this type of attitude and thinking pattern? 
With God we will succeed!

18 comments:

  1. Such a good book!!! You have a great perspective! He is ALL the details!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm only half way through it now and I absolutely love it!

      Delete
  2. Sorry they cancelled the cycle! You have such a great outlook on it though. i would be kicking and screaming and throwing fits.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you I am really trying. But I promise I am no saint....I have definitely had my moments LOL.

      Delete
  3. So frustrating! Infertility is all so hurry up, now wait. It has taught me to trust God's timing, which I must admit has made me a more relaxed mom. Still hard, though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know it will literally drive you mad! The waiting part is the absolute worse.

      Delete
  4. Stopping by from ICLW... So sorry you had to cancel the cycle. That must be so frustrating. But I'm glad to know you feel God's peace about it. Hang in there!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sorry for the cycle being cancelled. I can imagine what a blow this must be.

    Good Luck for whenever you get back in the saddle.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh gosh, how frustrating! Hoping for patience as you wait for your next cycle.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Here from ICLW. I'm so sorry you had to cancel this cycle. Abiding with you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I found you on ICLW. Your comment about accepting that nothing is on your timetable really resonated with me. I get so angry about this that a little bit of accepting will really help. Thanks for this. I'm going to ponder it for a while. Good luck. I hope you have better news next cycle. It's frustrating when you are trying let alone being told to take a month off.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have been angry for the past 2 years and it has not gotten me anywhere. I am gradually trying to accept that this is my path. I truly believe that God's outcome for my life will supersede the anger I am feeling, you just have to trust. You have to realize that your anger is not going to speed up the process of getting what you want its just going to make you miserable. I am so glad this spoke to you and thank you for the support:)

      Delete
  9. I am so sorry, you must be so disappointed. It is hard to be positive when things like that happen, good for you for trying and reading books on the subject too...

    ReplyDelete