Monday, March 17, 2014

What if?

As the weeks go by and the time gets closer to start the prep work for IVF the more I feel the butterflies swarming in my stomach. At this point I am feeling several different emotions but I am mostly excited. I am excited that this might finally be it! All of the tears will have been worth it to finally hold my baby. I have such a good feeling about this! I truly believe God will give us our miracle!

I must admit though, in the back of my mind I can't help but ask what if? What if we go through this and it just wasn't meant to be? How am I going to handle not getting pregnant or even worse another miscarriage? What would be our next step? So many questions that I do not have answers to yet. I am trying my very best to push these thoughts out of my head but at the same time I feel that I need to keep my guard up to protect myself from the hurt and disappointment. Aghhh, the suspense of not knowing is killing me!

Patience is not my strongest trait and as much as the suspense of not knowing is killing me, I have come to the conclusion that worrying is not going to help me get our baby. I have to give my worries to God. I have prayed faithfully for our baby and I just have to trust that he will deliver. I have to trust his plan for our life.


  1. Hi from ICLW! Good luck with your upcoming IVF cycle!

  2. That balance between excitement and self-protection is so hard. I was a nervous wreck before my IVF, but once I got started, it felt much easier to be focused on DOING something, instead of on the what-ifs. Best of luck with this cycle! PGS sounds like a wise choice.

    (Hope, ICLW #19)

  3. I relate to the feelings... Bring hopeful and excited, but tempered with fear and Trepidation. This post reminds me a lot of how I felt with my last pregnancy.

  4. Those "what ifs" get me every time and are hard to keep out of your mind! Hoping this cycle gets you your little one :)

  5. The "what if" game is never a fun one to play. Remember no matter what the future holds, it's God who holds the future. And God wants what's best for His children. Praying you feel His presence every step of the way.

  6. Trusting is the hard part. I wish you luck with that. (ICLW)

  7. I am so glad I found your blog girlie! Keep your hope in God and you will never be disappointed.

    He settles the barren women in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord. Psalm 113:9

    The bible is a great depiction of who God is and His heart...every women He mentioned in the Bible that couldn't conceived, was able to give birth because of His mighty hand. Keep believing and keep hoping!

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words Elisha:) God is great and I know he will deliver!